Straight outta Compton, crazy
Mothafucka named Ice Cube
from the gang called Niggaz With Attitude!
Honestly, I feel like I complain too much. Or maybe just too many things are happening and I can’t help but feel frustrated. Every week has its obstacles and the same people constantly irritate me. Lately I can’t help but feel that I’ve had enough “downs” in life, but the same question hits me again, who hasn’t? Maybe I’m overexagerating and being dramatic but sometimes enough’s enough.
For the first time, I ditched my recital today, or called in sick. I’m tired of having to stress over performances. I have another one in a month so fck I don’t care. I’m srsly considering quitting now, there’s no chance of me becoming good. My thumb sticks out in the wierdest positiong and I can’t even reach a nine. I hate being the only one left so why can’t I quit like everyone else?
At first I thought this summer wouldn’t be as bad. But I’m sick of the same excuses from people. Ah fck it I don’t care anymore. You’ll realize soon that I’m not your fckin back up, sooner or later I’ll be gone.
Chem final + W.E. auditions this week & SAT II history. Everyday seems to repeat itself: school, sleep+, practice horn/piano, homework, study for SATs, chatting online, and the occasional coloring time(yes that is my new addiction other then baking). I want something exhilirating & different for once -___-
It feels like it’s been weeks since we last talked; truth is, we haven’t. Was it cause of something I did? said? Or is it cause I was only someone temporary enough to sustain the emptyness she had carved in you. “Best Friend”. You lied, but honestly you sould have told me earlier, I’m too scared to ask you why either way. Cause in truth, I’m weak.
So I feel like blogging after coming home at 10 from the mall w/ cousin. God this week’s been so tiring! But finally I think I have my summer courses signed up for and the Elite SAT prep thing too. My math teacher sucks so much this year, I practically failed both the Placement test & PSAT. Too many testtsss >:l I’m not exactly looking forward to this summer either, better make it worth it cousin [if you’re reading this].
Still, today wasn’t as bad as I had thought it to be. Came home at 11:10 today and started baking for susan’s brthdayy (happy early birthday[:) Left at 1ish to see EVC counselor (hate that trashy school) and then went to Elite to take the test. Who knew there were 5 fckin sections and TIMED. Haha
V: How long do we have?!
C: 4 minutes.
V: Stop the fckin timer!
AHAHAHA, ok, so what if we took a little more then we were suppose to. We were so hungry our stomachs growled louder then the stupid beeper :( After finishing the korean ahjumma had to “counsel” my mom and I. Man I hated her stupid attitude. We’re paying you $1300 don’t talk to me like that >:l Anyways afterwards went to the new yogurt place Orange Tree! THEY HAVE WAFFLE BOWLS = :D! Good shitt, good shit. Finally vfair at 6. Hella late but we didn’t even stay for shopping. Stupid brother forgot his phone and we spent a whole hour looking for his ass. ASDFJKL;ASDFJKL; test on patience?
At least we had good clam chowder on the way home, still hungry now :( Went home and realized I still had cake to frost :O + the cake’s burned FML. To make it worse, my dad started yelling at me cause I tried to cover the cake in plastic? “FD” approved my ass. Sometimes I hella hate my family =/ How difficult is it to cover a cake -___- k w/e I’m over it. STARTING HOMEWORK NOWWW.
2 weeks since I last wrote & finally I feel free (: Despite all the crap schoolloop has posted, I feel accomplished! I’m not sure if the studying really paid off but for now, I’m content that I don’t know have to go to bed worrying about how many days are left before the AP exam (; But still, even after it’s over there’s still a bunch of other stuff to do.
May 15th: Birthday! & CSF event
May 17th: celebrate(:
May 21st: ELITE SAT diag. test
May 27th: Band Concert D: D: D: [need to get over my nervesss.]
May 28th: Band potluck(:
May 31st: Piano Recital D;
June 6th: World History SAT II
June ? : Summer School/SAT class beginss.
July 3rd: Piano Convention FML
Despite all this stuff left to do, I think I can still manage to look forward to summer. 3 more weeks of schooolll CAN’T WAIT.
I don’t know why that song suddenly grew onto me again. It’s been forever since I heard or sang it but now I’m back to it. Anyways star testing was a btch this week >:l LIFE SCIENCE WAS SO HARD - felt like a foreign language & getting out an hour later then usual sucked :( Everyday felt the same but now I’m gonna have to cram for AP D: Other then that, last track meet was on thursday! NO MORE HOURS OF ENDLESS PRACTICE & HEALTHY DIETING! JK(: I guess I’m gonna miss it but it wasn’t as fun as last year =/ + my shins hella started hurting after my first race. Right after solo ensemble started except some freshmens pissed me off. I don’t fckin care if you’re hella rich or pro know your place dammit. >:l Aggravation + nervousness = bad performance :( Oh wells, it was better then last year but still I need to get over my fears of playing on stage; no wonder I’m getting no where. Piano’s been annoying too - I hate learning new music. It feels like I just sit on the bench trying to read something that’ll take me forever to learn either way. [rhed shi has inspired me to give up].
Finallyyy, praise night ended this week. Went home friday night and started baking like crazy. Man I haven’t found time to study at all this week. 2 more weekends left :( I think now I’m just scared of taking it, feels like that one CM theory test I crammed for & in the end I didn’t even reach my goal… =/ Right now all I need is motivation & timee. ASDFJK; fml.
I’ve been happy this week, strangely. Except for that one day, but lately I don’t find going to school such a drag anymore and the fact that AP testing is coming up doesn’t frighten me as much. Finally it was cold today after 3 days of disgustingly-hot weather! :D Stupid heat, bring back the wind >:l
Yesterday we had our second to last track meet. YAY!(= After two seasons of hurdling, I finally get my steps down. How sad, but still, I feel like I’ve accomplished something.
favorite track buddies!<33 Only one more meet left but I’m actually excited for it to end. My goal to tan has been completed :D
I keep telling everyone that I’m going to dye my hair, but I still haven’t found the guts to do it. THIS WEEKEND, hopefully. By then I hope my grades don’t drop for the end of this grading period. “You have a B in chem” D: W/e i still have time to raise it. But in all honesty I’ve been wasting so much time. I hate getting up but I end up sleeping at 12 everyday & I still sleep in half my classes =/ At least theres only 2 more months of school left & 3 weeks until my birthdayyy :D Weekend<3
Lately I’ve been forgetting to write here, but that’s only cause this break kept me busy but still happy :D I have to say this was the best break I’ve had in awhile. No Piano & track! [= Well I went to track for one day, but I’ve been sleeping at 1 every night this week. First periods gonna be hard to wake up for D:
Today was exhausting though. Chinatown + Japantown + Shopping + Church. Finally had good dim sum today! I took everything off that one cart w/ all the sweet and fried stuff (: Here comes 10 lbs from this week. I can’t believe it was so hot today though. I hate hot weather >:l, gimme back the colddd.
Ice cream/crepe social at church was good. All those ice cream cones = fattt. =( Seems like this weeks going to be hott too. Track practice is going to suck & just 3 more weeks till AP test & sweet sixteen! Hopefully I can pull through, but as of now, I’m content.
On the plus side, I didn’t get pulled back by the security officers multiple times for anything, but it wasn’t my fault that they had their stupid sign for gates 1A,B,C to some place downstairs. ASDFJKL;, whatevers, finally back home >=/.
Friday left school and arrived at UNI high! EV’s too overcrowded, no joke. I was finally able to see everyone at school for once, but was I disappointed? a little. People say high school changes people, I guess it hit me hard being two years behind. Old memories flooded back, except it was funny when people couldn’t recognize me. Afterwards went to spectrum w/ alice, hye, ken, paul, takumi, anita, & kevin. thanks guys <3
*chipotle was good paul kim(:
It seems that every single time I go to church on friday there’s a baptism. Funny thing parents don’t recognize me either D: I’ve been away too long, things are happening too fast and I can’t catch up anymore.
Saturday hung out w/ my best friend at Fashion Island! & then Sprinkles cupcakesss<3 I swear I didn’t buy anything except I was down by 30$ that day.
Easter Sunday! ;D. Bakery + Sticker pictures + tennis = <3.
“all asian girls look alike” I guess that’s sorta true.
Monday finally came around and it sucked, cept it didn’t hit me hard yet that I wouldnt be seeing them for a long time. Thanks best friend for being there, letting me stay w/ you, having late night convos, understanding me, & most of all letting me tell you all my problems. Hopefully it won’t be another year before I can visit.
Other then missing my flight, coming back wasn’t too bad. I guess the biggest shock was opening up schoolloop, and finding a crapload of work to do. I guess Spring break won’t be as fun as I expected it to be. Still, two more months to put up w/ all this crap and then I’m done - hopefully [=
Happy Birthday Alan!
[nine inch cookiieeee for the giant]
Today I felt like shit :( Probably caught the cold yesterday at the meet + allergy symptons = puffy faced, congested, swollen eyes. Didn’t feel like talking that much today either, & certain keep annoying me >:l And I hate the inconsistency in this weather, now I’m freezing to death. Ahhhhhhh I’m so pissed right now FML.
Woke up at 10 today and made chocolate chip cookie dough cheesecake bars!(:
^What they’re suppose to look like vs. mine^
Oh wells, they still taste good -___-
I like this song a lot lately :)